We usually judge others based on their actions or their intentions. When in doubt, just ask yourself what’s the right thing to do. If someone confides in you, treat that vote of confidence with respect. Most people will signal when you’re crossing a line. We hate admitting mistakes more than making them, but that’s exactly why it’s so important to learn. But it can become one if you don’t own up to it. Those you make to others, but especially those you make to yourself. There are seven traits that make you trustworthy: Trust in other people, trust from other people, and, most of all, trust in yourself. This courage to face the world on your own will partly come from building trust. Throwing the expectations of others to the winds is liberating, but it takes courage.
Lesson 2: Courage comes from trusting both others and yourself, which is built in seven steps.
Ultimately, belonging is about feeling good in your own skin above all else. Now, she wears any attire to her speaking gigs, no matter the dress code. The more of those she wrote, the less reliant she became on other people’s opinions. Brené started by writing herself permission slips, like “you’re allowed to be goofy, have fun, and enjoy life,” which was her first one. Steve encouraged her to learn to be herself. When she met him in the 80s, she was on a full-on drinking, partying, and smoking spiral, desperately trying to belong. For Brené, this sign came in the form of Steve, who she would later marry. That sucks, but real problems only follow if we then spend the rest of our lives trying to make up for these early traumas.Įventually, you’ll hate yourself not for not fitting in, but for trying so hard to do and failing. For me, it was being sneered at for being smart and wearing glasses. For Brené, it was not getting picked for the cheerleading team and her parents’ subsequent disappointment.
If you want to save this summary for later, download the free PDF and read it whenever you want.ĭownload PDF Lesson 1: Stop trying so hard to fit in and give yourself permission to be yourself.Īll of us experience rejection in one way or another early in our lives.
Here are 3 lessons from the book that will help you do exactly that: To her, belonging is mostly about learning to belong to ourselves.īut to do that, we need not just the right groups of people, but also the courage to stand alone and be ourselves when no one wants to have our back.
What’s more, by sharing her own story of how she chased this fundamental need for decades to no avail, she teaches us how to avoid common pitfalls on our way to find it. In Braving The Wilderness, bestselling author Brené Brown is looking to clear up some of that confusion. And while it’s a very common word, it’s actually hard to describe, isn’t it? It feels kind of fuzzy as if we all mean something different, but we all know it when we feel it. On Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs, belonging is the first thing we desire right after ensuring our own physical survival.
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